


Sick Of Telling Myself No

by Berty



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Aliens Made Them Do It, M/M, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 09:02:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5534015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Berty/pseuds/Berty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A late visit and an interesting request from Daniel</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sick Of Telling Myself No

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nicci](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicci/gifts).



> For Nicci.

  
Jack was surprised by the doorbell but more surprised to find Daniel standing on his doorstep, squinting into the glare of his porch light. Evening was just coming down and Jack had to think if he'd forgotten an invitation or something. He and Daniel were good friends but Daniel wasn't the kind of guy who just turned up unannounced.

"Hi," Jack said with a careful smile when Daniel failed to speak.

"Hey, Jack," Daniel responded with an answering quirk of his lips, but his eyes slid away from Jack's face. He looked uncomfortable. Twitchy. His hair was oddly messy, as if he'd showered and not bothered to comb it. He was bundled up in a thick jacket, but had no hat or gloves despite the cold.

"Come on in, "Jack offered, stepping back to let Daniel pass, eyes still averted and head down. Something was clearly not right so Jack detoured to the kitchen for beers before joining Daniel in the lounge.

He'd taken off his jacket and boots, and was standing at the windows, staring out into a darkening sky, hands in pockets. Jack didn't know what he could be finding so fascinating out there in his garden in December other than a dusting of snow, but decided to leave him to it for a minute. Daniel was rarely at a loss for words, so Jack reckoned he could rely on him to spill once he had whatever it was straight in his head.

Jack clicked on a few lamps, then sat where he could see Daniel, sipping his beer and picking at the bottle label with a thumbnail.

Daniel seemed to finish his contemplation of the sky and began to move around the room aimlessly, stopping here and there to pick something up before replacing it and moving on again.

Jack was beginning to hear alarm bells. "You got back yesterday, right? You even been home yet?"

Daniel finally turned toward Jack looking strangely resigned. He sighed. "Yeah, twenty four hour quarantine was up this afternoon. Then I came straight here."

Jack wanted to ask why but had been brought up to know better. Though when Daniel began his circuit of the room again, Jack decided the issue needed to be forced. "What's going on?"

Daniel stopped and hesitated, then came to sit down next to Jack on the couch, turning to face him. "Nothing, really," he started with a nervous half-smile. "Just thought I'd come and see you."

"Is everything okay?" He really didn't need to ask, but Daniel was evasive tonight and Jack felt he might have to drag it out of him.

"Yeah. Good actually."

Daniel didn't offer any more.

"So........" Jack pushed, tipping his head expectantly.

"Can't a guy just come round and hang out with a friend?" Daniel laughed. It wasn't a relaxed sound. He picked up his bottle and drained half of it with a single swallow.

"Yeah," Jack answered slowly, "he can come round any time he cares to. But he doesn't." He pinned his friend with a look that Daniel had referred to as his "Do not fuck with me" stare. It worked. It always worked.

"Okay, I just... I needed..." Daniel put his beer down again and ran a hand through his hair making it even messier. He sighed. "I just wanted some company. Your company. I wanted to see you."

"That's sweet, " Jack teased. "Any particular reason?"

"As a matter of fact, yes," Daniel replied, curled a hand around the back of Jack's neck and pulled their mouths together.

Daniel was insistent without being aggressive. Jack didn't try to stop him or to pull away, but neither did he fully participate. Confusion warred with shock, leaving him powerless. Daniel's tongue touched against Jack's bottom lip and Jack let him slip inside his mouth as Daniel shifted to bring himself almost into Jack's lap. He smelled good, soap and coffee, and Jack felt his body reacting to the kiss instinctively.

Finally Daniel gentled, kissing Jack with an aching softness before pulling back to look at him. His hand was still buried in Jack's hair, his eyes were wide and pleading, and Jack had no idea what was supposed to happen next. Many times in the past he'd imagined Daniel in his lap like this but the reality was quite different. Seconds ticked by with neither of them willing to break eye contact or the brittle silence between them.

The phone rang and Daniel startled slightly. He laughed nervously. Jack thought about ignoring it but he was too recently retired to ignore a potential problem. He untangled himself from Daniel and walked to pick up the phone.

"Hello?"

"General O'Neill?"

"Yeah."

"It's Carolyn Lam. We've been trying to contact Dr. Jackson. Is he with you? "

"Yes, he's here," Jack admitted, watching as Daniel rose from the couch too and began his prowling again. He wondered if Daniel might think of bolting so watched him carefully with only half of his attention on the conversation.

"Okay, that's good. You need to keep an eye on him. Some of the personnel from his most recent mission are showing some unusual symptoms. It's nothing to be worried about; some hormonal anomalies. But if he displays any disturbing symptoms he should come back in."

That focussed Jack's attention immediately. "For example? "

"Mood swings. Aggression. Emotional outbursts. Anything uncharacteristic."

Jack wondered if unexpected kisses counted as an emotional outburst.

"It's not dangerous? "

"No, nothing we've seen so far has concerned us unduly. It's just a precaution that we're checking that everyone involved is accompanied for 48 to 60 hours after their return. Is that alright?"

"Okay, no problem."

"Thank you, General. Just call if you have any questions."

Jack had questions alright, but Dr. Lam wasn't the one with the answers.

Daniel turned to face him as Jack switched off the phone. "Lam?" he asked with a wry smile. Even when Daniel was distracted, it didn't stop that whip smart mind of his from working. "Do they want me back in?"

"Do you feel you need to go back in?" Jack asked in return.

"No!" Daniel responded immediately, then sighed and closed his eyes. He rubbed his temple with his thumb and walked to Jack, stopping only a foot away. "No," he repeated more calmly. "I want to stay here. With you."

Daniel's edginess seemed to have been replaced with a kind of quiet desperation. "Please, Jack," he asked quietly.

"I'm not sure I know what you're asking, Daniel. "

Daniel stepped in, tilting his head to fit his lips to Jack's again, nipping hungrily. His arms pulled them closer. He pushed up against him without subtlety, matching their bodies at the thigh, groin and hip to rub sweetly, leaving Jack in no doubt of what Daniel wanted. Jack longed to reach out the way Daniel was and indulge in sensations he'd only imagined, but something held him back. And it wasn't long before it was noticed.

Daniel stepped back slightly, his head bowed and his hands held out to the side as if they needed washing of something bad. "Are you really going to make me say it?" he asked quietly, the smallest note of petulance in his voice.

"I think I need to hear it, " Jack replied, wondering where his strength was coming from. Daniel looked utterly vulnerable and in any other situation Jack would have been first in line to make that better.

Daniel looked up then, meeting Jack's eye squarely and fearlessly. "I want you."

"Since when, Daniel?" Jack asked, folding his arms across this chest putting a breathing space between them.

"Since before you wanted me," Daniel bit back with unexpected bitterness.

Jack frowned. "What does that mean?" he asked, taken aback.

"Doesn't matter." Daniel shook his head as if shrugging off something unwanted. "Just... Please, Jack. I need you."

Jack wondered if Daniel even knew that he was slowly unbuttoning his own shirt. It was distracting as hell while Jack was struggling to keep his own long-suppressed desires from reaching out and taking what was so plainly on offer.

"Lam told you that we'd been affected by something that messes with our emotions on Hebeth didn't she? Hormonal?"

It must have registered on Jack's face because Daniel smirked and ducked his head again. "You knew?"

"I worked it out, " Daniel admitted without conceit. He unbuttoned the cuff of his shirtsleeve and Jack couldn't help but watch as Daniel's muscles moved beneath his skin as he slowly pulled the shirt off one shoulder then the other, letting it drop to the floor.

"Is that why you're doing this?"

"Yes and no. I've thought about it, why now, but I've wanted this for a long, long time, just never had the nerve to take it. It's...complicated. But it's not new, Jack, wanting you."

"You turned me down flat," Jack pointed out trying to keep two years of hurt out of his voice. It had blindsided him at the time. Jack had been so sure that they'd been on the same page - certain that they'd wanted the same thing. But Daniel had said no when Jack had screwed up enough courage to act on it and ask outright; he'd just smiled sadly and shaken his head.

It had been difficult between them since then. Jack had really tried not to let his disappointment show or to behave any differently toward Daniel but it had been hard, and only made harder by Daniel's actions. He'd carried on at first as if nothing had happened, and all the things that had made Jack make the mistake of assuming that Daniel was interested in him had continued. It had driven Jack mad and he'd initially thought that Daniel was teasing him deliberately before he'd had to admit to himself that it was just how Daniel was around him - funny, sarcastic, challenging and mainly clueless about how much Jack wanted him.

Jack had withdrawn after that, keeping himself apart in order to preserve what was left of his self-respect. It wasn't easy to be around Daniel knowing that he'd never be totally over him. Things had improved slowly since then; two years was enough time for Jack to put his ego back together and learn to appreciate Daniel's friendship. Most of the time.

"We didn't want the same things at the time," Daniel said carefully. He inched closer to Jack, subtly invading his space and the air he was breathing.

"I've got to tell you, Daniel, from here you look an awful lot like you want the same thing I did," Jack replied quietly. Daniel was close enough to have felt his breath as he spoke and Jack knew his self-control was slipping.

"I do, now," Daniel murmured, leaning in to speak directly into Jack's ear and pressing a small, hot kiss to his neck.

"Why now?" Jack growled as Daniel's arms slid around him, strong and solid. He felt so good, Jack felt drunk with it.

"Sick of telling myself no," Daniel breathed, running his open lips along Jack's jaw.

"Hormones, "Jack grated, "Making you horny."

"Making me brave," Daniel asserted, "You make me horny. Always have."

"Christ, Daniel!" Jack hoped he couldn't feel him shaking as Daniel began to work on the buttons of Jack's shirt next, while he worried the skin of his jaw with soft kisses and sharp teeth.

"Please, Jack. Please!" Daniel pleaded, sounding more ragged by the moment. "I need you."

"Need me? Or need this?"

"You! God, Jack, YOU! I came here, didn't I? Nowhere else! To you!" Daniel insisted. "I want YOU, in me, now!"

Jack cracked spectacularly.

He ripped his shirt over his wrists, ignoring the popping sounds from overtaxed buttons and stepped back into Daniel's waiting arms. Their mouth smashed together as they fought to angle and hold each other just so. Daniel's fingers found their way to Jack's fly and made quick work of freeing him from his jeans. Within a minute, they were both naked, tangled on the floor, touching and gripping, trying to find a way to climb inside each other.

Daniel was desperate, panting, muttering curses and encouragements, and Jack wanted to see what that looked like. He pinned Daniel beneath him and sat back. In the back of his mind, Jack remembered that they were visible to anyone who might have come to the window, but he couldn't have cared less - he'd waited years for this moment and lived for a time in the belief that it would never happen. He wasn't going to miss a second of it.

Daniel's skin was flushed pink, glowing in the light from the side lamps. His breathing was fast and open-mouthed, and his eyes glittered darkly as he watched Jack, watching him. His chest was smooth and the hair at his groin was trimmed and neat. His cock lay flat against his belly, hard and glistening at the tip.

"Please, Jack," Daniel begged, stretching and shifting, trying to entice Jack to move. He looked strung-out and needy. Wanton. Jack had never seen anything more perfect.

"Please!" he whispered and Jack took pity, quickly stooping to take Daniel's length into his mouth.

Daniel nearly came right off the floor, groaning in pleasure. Jack struggled not to gag as Daniel pushed deep, and braced his forearm across his hips to stop him from forcing too much of his cock into Jack's willing mouth.

Instantly, Daniel's fingers were in Jack's hair, cradling his head and encouraging him to take more, deeper, longer. He whispered brokenly, "Sorry, sorry, please..." as Jack sucked him as hard as he knew how. Even with most of Jack's weight holding him down, Daniel managed to lift his hips into Jack's rhythm, his thighs splayed and his muscles bunching as he pumped upwards.

Jack felt a blurt of salty bitter across his tongue and knew that Daniel was close. He gentled his mouth and focussed his attention on the crown of Daniel's cock, working it with the broad flat of his tongue. Daniel groaned deep in his chest and came in hard, wracking spurts, lifting his head and shoulders off the floor as he tried to fold himself in two. Jack swallowed as much as he could and let the rest trickle from his lips to slide down Daniel's length, shining and gorgeous.

Daniel slumped back to the floor and panted, and Jack registered for the first time the ache deep in his own belly and groin. He couldn't remember ever being so hard, but Daniel was still coming down, so Jack waited, using the time to stroke every inch of Daniel's body that he could reach. It was mesmerising, watching the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed and the way the tiny hairs on his skin lay in sweeping patterns across the broadness of him.

"Jack," Daniel said softly, bringing Jack back to his face. "In me. Now."

Jack did not need to be told twice, but he was damned if he was going to do this on a hard wooden floor. Already his body was protesting the lack of a comfortable mattress to spread Daniel across, so he could take his time with the next orgasm he drew from his beautifully responsive partner.

Daniel needed to be strenuously persuaded to get up and walk to the bedroom, but somehow Jack managed to distract him enough to trick him into taking the thirty eight steps to his bed. He slid onto the sheets in the middle of the mattress and sprawled in a way that Jack would remember for the rest of his life; the darkened room, the white sheet and Daniel's relaxed, pleasure heavy limbs thrown bonelessly, carelessly wide. He hadn't even softened; his cock still stood proudly erect and his hands were reaching for him greedily. Already Daniel was beginning to murmur pleas and encouragements again.

"Come on, Jack. I need it. Please!"

Jack knelt between Daniel's legs and fondled his sac, cool against the searing heat of his cock. He slid his fingers lower, rubbing soothing circles on Daniel's belly with his other hand. He wondered if he would be able to reach the lube in his nightstand without losing skin contact, but as he ran his fingers over Daniel's hole, he felt an unmistakable slickness.

Daniel's eyes were slits, but a smile played on his lips when Jack looked closer. Jack groaned as he sunk two fingers into the sweet, clenching heat of Daniel's body. The thought of Daniel working himself open in anticipation of his visit did things to Jack that made his stomach tumble. "You been thinking about this, Daniel?" he asked.

"For longer than you know," Daniel sighed, spreading his thighs further to get Jack's fingers deeper.

Jack went in with three fingers causing Daniel to arch his back and whine. "How long, Daniel?" He crooked a finger and pressed hard on the bundle of nerves that made Daniel shake and thrash his head on the pillow.

"Oh God! Please!"

He was so responsive, so very open to his body's needs and so beautiful. Jack turned his hand and rubbed repeatedly over that sweet spot with two slippery fingers. Daniel shuddered and keened, his fists clenched convulsively in the sheets.

"How long?" Jack repeated.

"Since Abydos. Since Abydos!" Daniel sobbed.

"You thought about me fucking you? All that time ago?" The rush made Jack's head spin.

"Yes! Please, Jack. I can't..."

Jack pulled his fingers from Daniel none to gently. "On your knees!" he ordered, his voice barely recognisable anymore.

Daniel scrambled to comply while Jack found a condom in his nightstand, ripped it open with his teeth and rolled it impatiently over his straining cock.

Jack had to force his fingers not to shake as he rearranged Daniel to his liking; his thighs wider, his shoulders higher. The light that spilled from the bedroom was enough that Jack could see the slick shimmer at Daniel's hole. He wanted to take a moment to admire the perfect curve of Daniel's ass, the muscles of his thighs but Daniel's voice had become a constant litany of almost incomprehensible begging. Jack didn't have the heart to make him wait any longer. Not this time, anyway.

He lined himself up and pushed in as he rolled down over Daniel's back, pulling Daniel's hips back to meet him. Daniel shouted out and Jack groaned like he was dying as his first stroke went deep and his second deeper still.

There was no way Jack was going to last long, and from the way Daniel strained for every extra fraction of an inch, Jack guessed he wasn't either. Jack curled one arm around Daniel's hips and one around his chest, relying on Daniel to hold them both up as Jack focussed on fucking him deep and hard. He pulled back with each stroke, making every single bruising thrust count. Jack kneed Daniel's thighs even wider and leaned back, lifting Daniel off his hands and feeling him slide a little further onto his shaft.

Daniel yelled, a sound from deep down and Jack felt him come as powerful muscle contractions squeezed his own cock and forced a meagre string of fluid from Daniel's.

Jack held them as long as he could, keeping Daniel filled to the brim until they both collapsed down to the sheets, panting and sated.

Jack could feel himself softening, but held himself inside of Daniel as their breathing eased and their heart rates normalised. Daniel's muscles still clenched periodically which was delicious and over-sensitised at the same time, and Jack knew he had to deal with the condom. So he pulled out as little as he could to remove and dispose of it before he snugged back in against Daniel's warm ass. Daniel hummed and eased back into him.

Jack knew he should want to sleep now but his mind was racing despite the post-sex haze. He stroked Daniel's side distractedly. "Why did you turn me down then?" he asked, almost surprised to hear his thought aloud.

Daniel sighed. "Now? Already? Can I just enjoy this for a while before we fight?"

Jack kissed his nape and reached behind him for the lube bottle he'd thrown on the bed when he'd found the condoms. He quietly drizzled some onto his fingers, spilling more than half onto sheets that would need to be changed before anyone was going to sleep comfortably.

On a hunch Jack reached around and ran his slick hand up the length of Daniel's cock experimentally. He wasn't as hard as he had been, but was still respectably erect. Daniel moaned and stretched, but didn't try to move away.

Jack curled a palm around Daniel's cock and rubbed his thumb against the rim of the crown- not too hard, but enough that Daniel would feel it. "You said we didn't want the same things from being together. What does that mean?"

"Jack," Daniel moaned, but Jack simply squeezed a little and swiped his thumb across Daniel's sticky slit.

"Oh god!" Daniel whispered.

"What did you mean?" Jack pressed, talking softly into Daniel's hair.

'Nothing. It was nothing. God, Jack, that's good. Don't' stop."

"Not stopping, baby. Gonna take care of you. Just tell me what you wanted, when I asked you."

"You, you idiot!" Daniel grunted through gritted teeth. "I wanted you. But I'd heard the rumours."

Jack set up an easy pace on Daniel's shaft, just tight enough. "Rumours?" he asked.

Daniel squirmed in Jack's arms, pushing into Jack's fist now. The man was fucking insatiable, but Jack could use that to his advantage.

"About you and your friendships. How none of them lasted more than a few fucks. Oh, God! Fuck! Jack. So good!"

"Yeah, is that good? You gonna come for me again?"

Daniel just groaned but Jack kept up his easy pace.

"You thought that was what I wanted? A quick fuck?"

"Please, Jack!" Daniel moaned and Jack thought he would never hear that enough times.

"You should have asked me, Daniel. Damn it, you should have known me better!"

Daniel craned his neck back and murmured something Jack couldn't catch. Jack realised he'd sped up his hand at Daniel's admission, squeezed him tighter and that he was close again.

"You're the idiot," he whispered into Daniel's hair. "How could you not have known that I love you?"

Daniel stiffened in his arms and came, his muscles seizing and his cock pulsing, although he had nothing left to give. He moaned hoarsely; Jack thought he heard his name in there somewhere. His hand was sticky with lube, but it felt so good to have Daniel tucked in his arms, he lay still, listening to Daniel's breaths settle and lengthen.

It can only have been around eight o'clock but after three orgasms in such a short space of time, Jack wasn't surprised that Daniel had fallen asleep on him. He was feeling pretty mellow himself despite the important facts which had come out tonight, and he was content to rest his lips against the back of Daniel's neck until sleep took him too.

Of course Daniel chose that moment to want to talk.

"They said you weren't the kind of man who was looking for commitment."

"Who said?" Jack asked. He'd always tried to be careful with his choices.

"Does it matter? "

Yes, it did, but Jack decided to leave that and focus on the bigger picture. For now.

"Did I ever give you the impression that all I wanted was something casual? "

"I.. I don't know. I thought maybe I was seeing too much into your manner. And I saw you with Sara... It was different from how you were with me."

"You're not her. You're very much not her, Daniel."

"But you loved her once."

"I still do. But not like I love you," Jack admitted.

Daniel seemed to think about that for a while. "They said all I'd be was a distraction for you."

"Daniel," Jack sighed, "if <I>they</I> ever say anything again, come ask me first, okay?"

It was quiet for a few minutes. Cars passed by on the road from time to time, muffled by the snow and the distance. The house settled with soft creaks and squeaks. Jack wasn't fooled for a minute.

"So, you..."

"Yeah, I do."

"Oh! And I..."

"Yeah, you did."

"I shouldn't..."

"No, you shouldn't."

In a minute, Jack would get up, make some hot chocolate or toast or something and persuade Daniel into the shower where he'd join him after a lightning change of sheets. And then he'd take him back to bed, just to be sure that all those hormonal imbalances were accounted for.

But for now Jack was happy to stop the questions by pulling Daniel closer into his arms and kissing him slowly for as long as it took. The morning would be soon enough for the deconstruction Daniel would want to undertake. Jack had a few questions of his own he'd like answers to.

The first fat flakes of the forecast snow were falling outside the window and it looked like the required forty eight to sixty hour observation period might require them to hole up and keep warm. Jack was okay with that.

Fin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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